This Joy’s Life

This ad is by PricewaterhouseCoopers (PwC). Someone there is really in touch with the conflicting feelings a woman goes through when becoming a mother, except that I would say EVERY mother, not just those still working, experiences a similar struggle within themselves.

Now, a little over two years into motherhood, I’ve come to terms with who I may have let down by leaving the world of the working girl. I’m confident that work will be there in five to seven years once my child(ren) are in school and I find I have more time on my hands. In fact, I’ve been amazed at the opportunities for work that have fallen into my lap while I “sit” here at home with my daughter.

Still on the few occasions since becoming a mother where I’ve had to fill out any sort of application requesting my occupation and/or income, I am still finding it a struggle to write the word housewife. I grapple with the fact that “housewife” doesn’t seem to let the world know that I have a Bachelor’s degree. Which I worked hard for. Or that I worked as a systems auditing consultant for PwC and a software selection consultant for SoftResources or as a substitute teacher in the Highline District or with special ed children there as well. I’m diverse, man.

The term housewife severely downplays the fact that there is a serious amount of work involved, both mental and physical, in taking on occupation:housewife. It suggests that no income is necessary because it is not a job worth being compensated for monetarily when the child you are raising is your own. Will work for – free. Not even for food or a beer. (Hey, don’t get me wrong. I don’t need you to pay me to raise my own child, but I do want to establish the fact that it is work. Work that those in the business of childcare are getting paid upwards of $10-$20 an hour to do, so society does deem it “work” that has some monetary value in it.)

Housewife just has that old fashioned patina to it, being associated with tradition and the idea that “the woman’s place is in the home.” Although, in truth, I don’t think any of these are bad things. My mother was a stay at home mom and I’m so thankful that she was. I never looked down on her for it or thought that there was any reason she couldn’t have had her own successful career had she chosen to do so. It is because my parents raised me on the idea that I could be anything I wanted and there was no reason I couldn’t be out there working to pay the bills and buy a house and put food on the table, etc., that to choose not do so for a time, even if to raise my child, made me initially question my new found status as NON-contributor to society in the classic sense.

I don’t think woman who either must or choose to go back to work after having children have it much easier in the emotional struggle department, but sometimes, from where I sit (at home), the term working mother seems to connotate to the world that their is a woman whose got it together, who can both better herself and do for society, as well live in the traditional role of mother. Occupation:Working Mother suggests that this woman still has interests outside her child and that she’s not suddenly lost herself in poopy diapers and breastfeeding, not being able to converse about anything else. Housewife makes people wonder what in the world you do all day.

I guess the real question I should have asked myself goes back to the first word in the PwC ad – Who. Who, exactly, is “the world” that I worried so about misunderstanding me in that first year of motherhood? I think any other mother who chose to leave work for any amount of time probably realizes that housewife doesn’t begin to tell the whole story for any woman. I would say it also excludes the family, the husband and wife, who made the decision together that one partner should forgo an income to raise the children. Nor does it include any mother (or father) who does not have the luxury of forgoing their income. They may understand all the nuances of that term housewife better than anyone.

I guess the who are the me’s before motherhood, working women (and men) who’ve not crossed over into the world of raising children – yet. Now that I have become more comfortable in my role as “housewife”, I’m not sure why I felt so strongly the need to justify my decision to anyone. I suppose it was a lack of confidence in myself in the new role of mother and maybe not wanting to let go, entirely, of that old world of life before children when you are only really beholden to yourself.

Dearest Seattle,

Why do you complain when the warmth comes? The MidSeventies, after taking her cue from the ground hog this year, waited an excruciatingly long time to bare her skin in a pretty new sundress and you, Seattle, you took her for granted today. As though you think it a given that she will come back tomorrow. She may not.

TheSnow was here only two short weeks ago. Do you think he won’t come crawling back at the first hint you would have him? And Humidity – I actually heard you say his name aloud! After I stopped laughing I thought to ask how you could possibly think that Humidity (Humidity of all things!) came on the coattails of MidSeventies? How dare you even suggest it! Spend a day in Tampa in August and then we can discuss where Humidity rears his ugly head.

It’s true. Pollen seemed to arrive with MidSeventies, but you cannot blame her for his refusal to follow a restraining order. It is out of her control. Knowing what a sports fan he is, one could argue that Pollen’s arrival was correlated more so with the first games of the Mariners. Would you betray them because of it??? It’s true that complaints can be heard alongside the SoDo Mojo in the stands, but if there was a possibility that the Mariners would not play again tomorrow or next week, would that not affect the voracity with which you laid into them? Would you bite your tongue, just a little bit, and remember all the reasons you love them so? Like most sports fans, Seattle, you are superstitious and, therefore, I suggest, you would not jinx the Mariners by complaining of them upon their arrival just because Pollen chose to come to the games as well.

All I ask is that you show MidSeventies the same respect. TheEighties (and I’m not talking about the decade here) may come for a visit later this summer. Wouldn’t that be nice? A picnic just isn’t a picnic without “fun Eighties” after all. I’m sure CoolBreeze would not want to miss out on the good food and great laughs of a summer picnic. Please don’t jepordize the opportunity to have them here by gaining a reputation as an ungrateful host.

TheSnow, Cold, and Rain won’t be gone for long so don’t worry about them. The money will run out and living out of a suitcase will begin to take it’s toll. Vacations are nice, but sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti they will head back to their beloved Seattle sending MidSeventies and the rest south again sooner than one would expect (or hope).

Look, Seattle, I know you didn’t mean any harm by it. You probably had on a few too many layers because you just weren’t expecting her to be here and you were uncomfortable. She did not RSVP, after all. WeatherStation assured us all she would not make an appearance for a week or more at least. I get it. You, we, were unprepared. But, that does not excuse rude behavior. Seattle, I thought you knew better. Let’s all work just a bit harder to make her and her friends feel welcome in the next week or so as Cold and Rain finish packing and follow TheSnow to whichever destination it is they’ve chosen to enjoy this spring.

Sincerely,

Joy

P.S. Photo taken one week later (Saturday, APRIL 19th). Well, I hope you are happy, Seattle. This is just depressing.

Here’s the thing. It takes a LOT of effort to do all the research that needs doing in order to get the REAL story on most things. And I usually just don’t have time. I just have time to know I’m not getting the whole story and to be skeptical when I hear blanket statements like, “PLASTICS HAVE BEEN LEAKING EVIL TOXINS INTO YOUR BODIES FOR YEARS EVEN THOUGH THE FDA SAYS THEY ARE PERFECTLY SAFE !!!”

OK, I admit I’m being a bit sensational. There is, after all, probably some truth somewhere to that statement and it is always good to question TheMan or whoever, but have you ever noticed how all the shocking revelations of consumer vulnerability come with more and more rules and regulations and the rights of someone (even Corporations are juristic people after all) being TAKEN AWAY? How often do our rights, once taken, ever get returned?

Do Laws ever get taken off the books? I mean, there are some crazy laws out there and, I don’t know about you, but although it’s probably a good thing that you could get into serious legal trouble if you are found driving with an uncaged bear in your car, if only in Missouri, I’m not sure I need a law to make that call for me or for you. And thank goodness I’m not a resident of Pittsburgh or I’d be doing life without parole for the amount of dirt under my rugs.

Whoops, I got off on a tangent before I even got started because my real issue with the question at hand – Are plastics that contain our food safe? – is that the information we are most likely to hear about it is BIASED or, at the very least, we are not given the full story by which to judge the true likelihood of its danger. I’m not arguing that there is nothing to the potential issue of plastics leaking toxins into our food. I took enough science (sans Creationism, thankfully) in school to think it plausible that changing its molecular state by freezing and microwaving it might make the argument quite plausible. What I’m arguing is that, like it or not, the responsibility of figuring out the truth about how serious an issue it really is falls on the you and I because 9 times out of 10 the information you are getting on it is biased.

We owe it to ourselves to know the bias behind our news so that our choices are truly OURS. TheGreatPlasticsNon-Debate is a prime example and qualifies as a post topic here because it is one of those hot button “mom issues” (think plastic baby bottles). You’ll find a lot out there about Bisphenol A (or BPA), a synthetic estrogen drug found to make a great plastic due to its durability. Known as polycarbonate in its hardened form, we come into contact with it everyday in our CDs, automotive parts, the resin lining applied to the insides of food and soft drink cans, toys, microwave ovenware and in many #7 polycarbonate bottles (including baby bottles, as noted above).

A friend sent me a link to The Green Guide which states the following about BPA/Polycarbonate:

Many studies have found that BPA interferes with hormones, as phthalates do, and a March 1998 study in Environmental Health Perspectives (EHP) found that BPA simulates the action of estrogen when tested in human breast cancer cells.

A growing number of scientists are concluding, from animal tests, that exposure to BPA in the womb raises the risk of certain cancers, hampers fertility and could contribute to childhood behavioral problems such as hyperactivity. A January 2006 EHP study on mice indicated that BPA alters the function of mouse pancreatic cells, which produce insulin, suggesting that the chemical may enhance the risk of developing Type II diabetes. Finally, an early 2007 study on BPA in rats found that it led to increased growth, suggesting that the chemical might trigger obesity.

But that’s all it says about BPA, even though that’s hardly all there is to say. It completely neglects to mention that the U.S. National Institute of Environmental Health Sciences (NIEHS), in an attempt to sort out the “truth” from the results of over 150 government funded experiments exploring the health effects of BPA, discarded many of the studies that indicated danger from the chemical, but accepted most of the industry-sponsored studies that showed no potential for harm in their initial review. The reason behind this? The studies showing BPA as harmful used the wrong method to deliver the chemical to lab rats. Instead of feeding BPA to rats by mouth (as the industry studies did) and in the same way humans would come in contact with the chemical, BPA was injected directly into the rats’ blood.

As reported on in this article, the panel of government reviewers noted, “‘We don’t inject BPA . . . we swallow little bits of it as molecules detach from the plastic in food and drink containers.’ The “pathway” of exposure makes a difference. When we eat it, our metabolism breaks down and excretes a lot of it. That doesn’t happen as readily if the chemical is shot directly into the bloodstream.” The NIEHS thus far has concluded that “there is ‘some concern’ that exposure to BPA in the womb causes neural and behavioural changes, but only ‘minimal’ or ‘negligible’ concern about other possible health damage.”

Gail Wood, a spokeswoman for Mead Johnson Nutritionals, a division of Bristol-Myers Squibb Company that manufactures baby formula, in the same article cited above, makes the following points on behalf of BPA-based plastics, specifically the resin liners applied to the insides of food and soft drink cans:

• Trusted in the industry for over 60 years.
• They are the “absolute best” at keeping product fresh and contaminants out of whatever food product is canned.
• Have been proven “time and time again” by leading government testing authorities (in Japan, Europe and the U.S.) to be safe.
• Although there are substitutes (other epoxies), there is nothing better. With BPA resins, the risks are so low, and their efficacy is so high, “they are by far the best possible packaging component to use for a myriad of applications.”
• Using unlined metal would be much more dangerous. “There is a significant leaching problem with those metals and alloys.” Traces of nickel, aluminum or other toxic metals could leach out of the can, contaminating the food.
• Resin linings also seal out bacteria, moisture and oxygen (which spoil food).
• They are flexible, so the lining stays intact if something dents the can.

Her final thoughts on the debate: “The key take-away is that there probably are alternatives – not as good – and every alternative is going to have its inherent risks and benefits. . . I wish people who were scaring consumers would present more of a balanced story.”

I completely agree. Had they, I wouldn’t have had to spend all this time on a rant about TheGreatPlasticsNon-Debate! I wish there was a site like Truth or Fiction, Hoax-Slayer, or Snopes that I could go to quickly to find out not only if I’ve really gotten cancer from my optical mouse as that recently forwarded email suggests but what’s the FULL story on sensationalized topics like harmful plastics that may not be, scarce landfill space that’s not, and global warming that may not be because of us (inconvenient as that truth may be).

Why, by George, I think I’ve found my site! If you took the trip on the last two links, you found The Straight Dope. I bet Cecil can do a better job than I presenting the real deal on TheGreatPlasticNon-Debate. Think I should ask him? Probably, since I haven’t even started in on Phthalates yet. Lucky for you, I’m not going to either because I’ve proven my point, if only to myself, that there was, in fact, more to the story on those “harmful plastics” and right now my limited research has reassured me that not only did I not harm Clara by heating her formula, I can continue to heat my plastic bowls and plates (as long as they say “microwave and dishwasher safe”), freeze my water bottles, and eat my Spaghettios cold, straight from the can.

I’m struggling with what to actually do with this blog. I want to do some more writing and I thought I would have a lot of parenting stuff to write about (to go with my WAHM title), but so far I’ve found that either I’m not interested enough to sit down and write about “mom” stuff after doing it all day and/or a little too nervous to start an editorial/opinion blog. No one has asked me my opinion on the things I’m thinking about fleshing out in writing, so maybe I’m better off just keeping those thoughts to myself. Then again, it seems that there are plenty of folks out there who like giving me and anyone else who will listen their unsolicited advice. Maybe I’m just a little late to the fray, eh?

Actually, that turns out to be a pretty good lead in to one thing on my mind. I’m really noticing that there seems to be a a lot more people than I realized who are not satisfied until they have changed my opinion to their own. I’m not necessarily talking about actual friends and acquaintances of mine, either, just a general thing going on out there – in the articles and blogs that I read, to the “news” shows on TV, to magazines that I subscribe to, etc. Apparently, unless my opinion is yours, we are at an impasse and/or you think you are smarter than me.

What’s is that all about? Why is it so important to others that my opinion be EXACTLY like theirs? I get that people like to have connection and finding out someone has the same opinion as you on an issue is great validation. But, I have plenty of friends and family that I respect and care about just the same, even though our opinions may not always mesh. What’s up with the people who feel so strongly that my opinion must change to theirs during the course of our conversation? Can’t we all get along just as we are? In the words of my husband’s favorite band, people are people so why should it be you and I should get along so awfully if I don’t agree with you even a little or at all?

What I’m talking about here is the stuff that comes up between friends or people you’ve just met, your husband’s boss at the Christmas party, the local news, major newspapers, what have you. Take the news, for example. I mean, what ever happened to UNBIASED journalism and documentaries – the very definition of which is the presentation of facts objectively. At least with Michael Moore or Sean Hannity you know what you are getting into. No preconceived unbiased-ness there. Not like when Halloween comes around and articles in my Parenting magazine talk about the need to “go green” for Halloween and not give out candy. I mean, come on! It’s all fine and dandy not to give out candy, but don’t push that far left green stuff on me, dog. The entire magazine that month had a thousand articles about “going green.” Must you make me feel guilty at Halloween. Is that necessary, really?

Okay, so there is one example of what can lead to the type of conversations I’m talking about. The obvious topics are politics and religion. I know I’m not the only one who will often avoid conversations on these two topics like the plague, even risk coming off as not having an opinion at all, or (gasp!) pretend to agree with your opinion if I think the conversation won’t have time to get too deep, especially if it means we can all just get on with the party and enjoy ourselves. You know what I’m talking about. Since when is it socially acceptable to make everyone at the table uncomfortable because you want to argue with whoever is sitting across from you over politics?

But, I digress, because it’s really the subtle stuff I’m talking about – like parenting choices or recycling, for example. And here is where I can take this post back to having some WAHM relevance, because it was getting pregnant and becoming a FTM (first time mom) that brought these little “hot button”(?!) topics to my attention. Not that I had never noticed that when people get passionate about an issue they can tend to try and force their opinion on everyone else. I expect it with those aforementioned big ticket issues. But since becoming a mom, I’ve been more than a little surprised at how often and how fired up women (moms and non-moms alike) can get with one another about things that had never hit my radar before. In Mom World, if you are trying to get out there and make friends with the other moms and have a playdate with their kids, the topics of breastfeeding and disposable diapers are analogous to politics and religion. Stay away from these discussions at all cost, especially if you are on the unpopular side of the argument. If you can’t stay away from the discussion, you may want to tread gently until you know what side of the issue they are on. Then, adjust accordingly.

Actually, I’m pretty lucky in that I have a number of great girlfriends on both coasts who’ve became FTMs about the same time I did and even if I know we don’t necessarily agree on every parenting “issue”, I feel very comfortable discussing the issues with each and everyone of them. That said, I think most of us have come across another mom or dad or whoever, that has somehow implied that we were on the wrong end of one issue or another. I’m pretty much on the “wrong” end of every mom issue. Canned baby food vs. make your own: I make . . . a trip to the store for the canned stuff. Gerber is my friend, my really expensive, but very convenient friend. Breastfeed or Bust (pun intended) vs. formula fed: I was a formula fed baby (except for two months) as was my husband and brother and a number of others I know who all turned out just fine. Did I nurse Clara? TSYBB (That’s Something You’d Better Believe) but did I also formula feed her when we went out to restaurants or if I wanted to get out of the house for a bit? That’s a big 10-4, buddy. Vaccinations vs. Non-vaccinated: Are you kidding me with that?! Vaccinations, of course! Cloth diapers vs. disposable? Can you guess? Ya, you betcha, the Diaper Champ has a special place in my heart. To paraphrase one blogger in the “momosphere”, I’ll be the master of my garbage can, thank you very much! And if that means filling it full of disposable diapers, so be it.

And, while we are on the subject, if I don’t really feel like washing out the mayonnaise jar so it can go in the recycle bin but instead toss it casually out with the garbage, I refuse to feel guilty about that any longer. I do my share of recycling, of water conservation, of not wasting leftovers and all of that other stuff. My recycle and yard waste bins overflow by the time they are scheduled to be picked up every other week. Again, I digress . . .

I have researched my positions on all the above mentioned mom issues and have found plenty of validation in my decisions (here, here, here and here). And if you disagree with me on any of them, and this is the kicker, THAT IS A-OK WITH ME. You are perfectly entitled to be on the opposite side of those issues as I am. I actually do not mind one bit. It truly doesn’t bother me. I don’t think about it at night. In fact, I won’t even be thinking about it at all after I finish this blog post. What I think about is why does it bother YOU that I have a different opinion. (By the way, I hope you know I’m not talking about you, specifically, dear reader (unless the shoe fits – ha!), I’m talking the collective, plural “you” or whatever.)

What I’m asking is can’t we still find common ground if you want to vote for Barack and I am going to “throw my vote away” writing in Ron Paul ? Are we good if you go to church every Sunday and me, not so much? Fine by me if you fill up your garbage can with everything that can qualify as garbage so long as it doesn’t bother you that I keep food scraps under the sink until I can take them out with the yard waste, recycle the basics (unless it’s more effort than it’s worth) but have no problem with the fact that allegedly 50% of my household waste is made up of the disposable diapers we use for Clara. Are you cool with the fact that the chances of you changing my mind on any of these issues is slim to none, not because I won’t listen to what you have to say but because, chances are, you are not going to tell me anything I haven’t already considered? Because if you are going to get all fired up when I don’t agree with you on these things and try to put me down a little, make me feel stupid or like I don’t know what I’m talking about, especially in front of a group, well, I ain’t having that, see. That’s just NOT how I roll.

One thing being a mom has done for me is to really start making me define, for myself, exactly what my “life philosophies” are. When it comes to parenting, I’d say I’m practical. Pretty much, I take most situations and think about how my own parents and grandmothers raised their children in the poor, rural South. WWMGD? (What Would My Grandmothers Do?) I guarantee my mom wasn’t being driven all over “God’s creation” to music class and soccer practice and being otherwise constantly entertained. (And she didn’t raise us that way either.) Nor was she wearing the latest in name brand fashions at the age of two (or ever) and given the “hottest” toy on the market at Christmas time every year. That’s not to say that I’m not going to have Clara involved in some activities, like music and soccer, or that she will never be taken shopping or that she doesn’t already have WAY more toys that she needs, but I’m perfectly willing to close her off in her room for an hour or so with no television or friends or constant interaction from me. I have gotten a look a couple times now when I’ve mentioned that when I put Clara down for a nap and she doesn’t want to sleep that I just leave her in her crib for the two hours she should be sleeping. She’s not crying. She ain’t unhappy in there. She’s perfectly content, although she should be sleeping, to just be by herself playing her made up baby games or ripping pages out of the books I can’t seem to keep far enough out of her reach.

And I don’t want to get into a detailed political rant (though I certainly could), but I’m recently able to define my political philosophy better than I ever have in the past:

Don’t tell me how to spend my money and don’t tell me what to do.

I heard someone say this recently and I felt that it described my feelings pretty perfectly. I prefer to keep my money and make the decisions about where it gets spent. I think I’m better qualified to do so than the Federal government. At the very least, let’s keep it in our local and state governments who know what issues affect us right on our doorstep. Don’t tell me that I can’t have an abortion. I’ll decide that. Don’t tell me I can’t own a gun. I’ll decide that. Don’t tell me I have to recycle. I’ll decide that too. Agree with it or not, it’s simple. I’m pretty sure life philosophies should be simple little truths. You know, like, Confucius’ pearls of wisdom:

What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others.

We take greater pains to persuade others that we are happy than in endeavoring to think so ourselves.

Yep, my truths and your truths; they may not be the same. That’s okay by me. Is it okay by you?

***

Hmmm. I started off this post thinking I had nothing to say. I guess I showed me, huh?! It was liberating to write with no worries as to who I might offend! But, now, of course, I’m worried that I might have hurt your feelings and I should go back and take some of it out, water it down a bit, just so there’s no hard feelings. There is a time that I would have done that. But, that time has passed . . .

Dad is in ICU at Emory, but doing pretty well. He’ll stay there through the weekend and then be moved to a room if all goes according to plan.

I was finally able to come home today for a while to get some real sleep and a good shower. Now I feel I can go back to the hospital and not be the stress case I’ve been of late. It’s amazing the affect stress can have on a personality.

Normally, I’m a middle road kind of gal. That is, although I may not always (or ever, if you ask my husband) take the “high road” in a given situation, I don’t take the low road either. But in the last few days, driving between Marietta (home) and north Atlanta (hosptial) and the hotel near the hospital, I have become the victim of some major road rage (at least for me).

Admittedly, I’m not as laid back as Ferris Beuler’s father when behind the wheel of a car, and I might give a person “what for” when they cut me off, but not in an overly obvious way. And I don’t ride their tail and turn on my brights or flick people off. Unless . . .

Unless, apparently, I’m under a lot of stress. Then, I don’t actually care if you are inconvenienced by my lack of decision making skills on a turn while I’m trying to figure out the closest place to park at the hospital. And if you are going at a snails pace in my lane when I’m trying to make the 5 a.m. visiting hours, you will see my finger. And, believe me, it is a LONG finger (seriously, I can palm a basketball).

I’m also realizing that, when I’m stressed out, little things annoy me to no end. So big things, like the loud and proud country folk in the ICU waiting area next to ours, are especially grating to my nerves and bring out the worst in me.

Please don’t get me wrong, I love country folk – the good kind. The home cooked meal, strong moral character, fun-loving salt-of-the-earth kind. But there are two kinds of country folk, the second of which can be encompassed best by the term “white trash”.

There are ways to identify WT without ever having seen their front yards. You’ll always hear them complaining about how other people have done them wrong. Yet, they never notice how often they do others wrong. I mean, if there is a time for being considerate of the people around you, then the ICU is it. So I don’t want or need to hear about cousin Lamar’s excuses for not coming to the ICU to visit your mah-muh (the excuse was ‘work’, by the way). Or Randy’s excuse (wife’s got to work- admittedly weak) or little Randy’s excuse (also work). And I especially don’t want to hear about it if you are not even talking to me while I’m sitting in a chair looking like a pretzel TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP!!!

I’m sorry if you’d “be a free man right now if it was up to [you].” Personally, I have serious doubts that you would find that younger woman you actually think is out there waiting for you. I’d love to deliver the message to your wife for you that you’d really like that divorce, but guess what, I’VE GOT OTHER THINGS ON MY MIND, without you infiltrating my thoughts with your unrealistic fantasies.

This, by the way, from the same man who complains that “people” will steal anything from you so you’d “better sleep with you’re mouth closed or they’ll steal your false teeth and you’ll wake up with gum flapping gum.” That’s wisdom even Confucius couldn’t match. (As you can see, a real Catch, ladies, ain’t it too bad he’s taken?)

HEY! PEOPLE! SOME OF US ARE DESPERATELY TRYING SLEEP AND MAINTAIN OUR COOL OVER HERE – SHUTUP!!!

And if one more cell phone goes off with a “Dukes of Hazzard” ring-tone . . . wait, that’s mine. And, wadda-ya-know, TheCatch walked over to let me know he really likes it.

So we’ve all gotten this email before. As soon as I see this subject line, the first thing I do is delete it. The more it begs me not to, the faster I click the “X”. I always hate these emails because inevitably, if I were to try to read it, I know I’ll have the equivalent of tennis elbow in my right index finger from all the scrolling I’ll have to do to get past the million or so email addresses and “Forwarded By’s” before finally arriving at the anti-climatic “— Original Message —.”

Once I finally do make it to the Original Message (OM), it attempts to guilt me into doing a lot of work or else little Timmy won’t get his operation or, worse than that, I’ll have bad luck for years. The OM might go so far as to call me names, like “Lame” or accuse me of being a spoilsport:

This is for kicks…do not be LAAAME and spoil the good times. Copy (do not forward) this entire e-mail and paste it into a new email. Don’t forget to delete out all the other email addresses so this doesn’t get impossibly long. Change all of the answers so that they apply to you. Then, send this to a whole bunch of people you know *INCLUDING* the person who sent it to you. It is fun and easy breezy.

Now, buddy, I ain’t buyin what you’re selling because replying, copying, pasting, cutting, deleting, changing responses, and typing in the email addresses of everyone I know doesn’t sound easy or breezy or fun. Already, I’ve wasted 5 minutes of my life reading the dang email!

However, it’s like they say “hate the game, not the player.” Some of my friends really enjoy sending and receiving these emails. And that’s okay. I certainly don’t hate my friends for this guilty pleasure, I just hate the game. Usually, I respectfully decline to play, but today I got that one that’s all “Learn about your friends by answering these interesting questions.” I have to admit I do find the responses of my friends interesting. And I do feel guilty sometimes for not responding in kind. So . . . I decided that the most I could do was respond to it here, so that at least it isn’t clogging up anyone’s email, especially if they don’t know me. I figure, anyone who would be interested in my response is checking this blog anyway. Plus, my sweet girlfriend that sent it plugged my blog as her favorite website. Such a gesture cannot go unnoted!

Now, part of the “rules” of the response was to add your own question to the bottom before sending it on to the next person and I have done so (#69), thereby, making this an applicable blog post for a southerner in Ireland.

1. First Name: Joy
2. Were you named after anyone? No
3. Do you wish on stars? No
4. When did you last cry? like wail? About 2 weeks ago
5. Do you like your handwriting? Not really
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? Salami
7. What is your birthdate? January 19, 1976
8. What is your most embarrassing CD? “Honey” Soundtrack
9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? TSYBB (That’s Something You’d Better Believe)
10. Are you a daredevil? No, even less so the older I get
11. Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Yes, but not yours
12. Do looks matter? I agree with my girlfriend’s answer: Only as far as they accentuate a personality
13. How do you release anger? In stages. Stage 1 is cussing.
14. Where is your second home? Georgia
15. Do you trust others easily? Yes
16. What was your favorite toy as a child? I didn’t have a favorite, maybe Rainbow Bright or Speak’N Spell
17. What class in high school do you think was totally useless? Health
18. Do you have a journal? Yes, my last entry was probably over a year ago. I usually only write in when I’m really angry so anyone who reads it later will think I was a really mean person.
19. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Do chicken’s lay eggs?
20. What are your nicknames? Joy-Joy (rarely), but a lot of people call me Joyce or Jill at first.
21. Would you bungee jump? No way, no how.
22. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nope.
23. Do you think that you are strong? Totally Buff-y
24. What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? Vanilla
25. Shoe Size? 10
27. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? Sometimes I don’t know when I’ve taken a joke too far.
28. Who do you miss most? TheManOnTheCorner
29. Do you want everyone you send this to send it back? Heck no.
30. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? I’m not wearing shoes – oh la la. Blue jeans though.
31. What are you listening to right now? The Simpsons
32. Last thing you ate? Chips (aka Fries)
33. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Peach (it works on so many levels)
34. What is the weather like right now? Grey, dreary, drizzly, windy, cold (come visit Ireland!)
35. Last person you talked to on the phone? Rinell
36. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Nothing really until he makes me laugh. Then, probably his smile.
37. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Love that girl!
38. Favorite Drink? Snapple Peach Iced Tea. Alcoholic? Bloody Mary, extra spice, extra olives.
39. Favorite Sport? To play: Soccer, To watch: DodgeBall
44. Hair Color? Dark brown
45. Eye Color? I maintain that they are Hazel (blue-green), not brown-green and not blue – not that I’m against those eye colors.
46. Do you wear contacts? No
47. Favorite Food? Too broad a question.
48. Last Movie You Watched? Kingdom of Heaven (don’t bother)
49. Favorite Day Of The Year? October 31
50. Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? Either or both.
51. Summer Or Winter? Summer – Georgia summers not Seattle summers.
52. Hugs OR Kisses? Either or both.
53. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Too broad a question, but chocolate is involved.
54. Who Is Most Likely To Respond? Not me.
55. Who Is Least Likely To Respond? Me.
56. Living Arrangements? Chad and I in an apartment in Ireland for 4.5 months, otherwise, our cats, Harry and Cinder, have two pets – me and Chad – in our little house in Seattle.
57. What Books Are You Reading? “The Quiet American” and “Ulysses”.
58. What is on your mousepad? Me making a monster face at Shay at my wedding after-party.
59. What Did You Watch Last night? The Simpsons, Friends, Property Ladder, Sex and the City, Ally McBeal
60. Favorite website? My blog, of course!
61. Do you support any charities? Yes, United Way, local firefighter and police associations, and breast cancer.
62. Are you married? Yes
63. Favorite Smells? The air right before a thunderstorm, goodies baking.
64. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Either or both.
65. Doing housework or reading? Housework!
66. Where’s the furthest you’ve been? The Cliffs of Dover
67. First music concert: Live
68. Concert you would have to paid large sums of money to sit through: Maybe an Elvis concert.
69. Current country of residence? The Republic of Ireland

An hour later, I’m finally ready to post this. Fun and easy breezy.