How to win arguments and influence (stupid) people

Ok, so I’m falling in love all over again with the Humbug! blog and I just had to share this post which made me LOL. If I’d been drinking milk, it would have flown out my nose (shoutout: Suzannadu):

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I received an email earlier in the week from Dirk, recommending the following [Hell’s Kitchen blog on how to win arguments]:

Use meaningless but weightly [sic] -sounding words and phrases.

Memorize this list: 
Let me put it this way 
In terms of 
Vis-a-vis 
Per se 
As it were 
Qua 
So to speak 

You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as “Q.E.D.,” “e.g.,” and “i.e.” These are all short for “I speak Latin, and you do not.” 

Here’s how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say: “Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don’t have enough money.” 

You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say: “Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D.” 

Only a fool would challenge that statement.

Indeed.

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LOL, right? That’s awesome. I think Miss South Carolina may have used the Hell’s Kitchen article to *help* her in the interview portion of the Miss Teen USA contest. In case you’ve forgotten, I’m happy to remind you:

Oh, it burns so good.

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