Super Smell

We arrived in the land of the “sniffy Liffy” yesterday. Yes, we’re back in ye ol’ Dublin and all settled in. Some were concerned that I might have to spend the next 3 weeks avoiding TheManOnTheCorner again, but all y’all can relax because we are staying at a hotel in Ballsbridge. Although not far from where our apartment was, I conveniently miss the corner of said man entirely.

And, as most of you know, not only am I once again A Southerner in Ireland, but I can now add the distinction of being A Pregnant Southerner in Ireland!

I’ll probably have more to say about the pregnant part than the Ireland part this time around, but perhaps it will be just as entertaining???

In fact, to start, let’s talk about super senses. I’m a fan of superheros in general – Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Superman, Spiderman, Batman, Batman Returns, Batman the Beginning, Batman the Man, Batman the Bat (sorry, tangent).

Anyway, yeah, the abilities to fly and jump over tall buildings in a single bound seem like they could come in quite handy in a number of situations, as does super strength, super eyesight, maybe super hearing (although I’m not sure hearing mice stomping around in the attic when I’m trying to sleep is especially useful). However, I can definitely tell you from experience that having a super sense of smell is not a good thing.

Besides a super appetite, if that counts, super smell is the only super power pregnancy seems to bring. I’ve been able to amaze my friends with this abiltiy, that’s true. I can smell a beer burp from the other room as soon as it is emitted. I can smell the dirt being hauled to the Seattle’s third runway carried by a truck 2 lanes over and passing me at 60 miles an hour on Hwy 518. But impressing my friends is heavily outweighed by the nausea and disgust that I must deal with simply by coming too close to practically any object, especially food and drink.

The smell of most fruit: disgusting. My shampoo: smells like fruit, i.e. disgusting. Thin Mints, Mint Frangos, any normally yummy minty delight: gagomatic. Even dust smells! It actually smells like smoke somehow?? And speaking of smoke, even outside in the open air, I am constantly having to stay at least 5 feet from anyone smoking a ciggy as it causes a real gag reflex and often leaves a little spitup in my mouth. And drinks? DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED! They all taste funny, kind of metalic or bitter – water, coke, you name it. (Sorry to make this so descriptive, but I want you to understand how NOT worthwhile a super sense of smell is.)

And, with that, I think my job here is done. (I love it when a plan comes together.) I’m signing off now. Concerned about getting in touch with me if you need help? Not sure where you’ll find a gigantic spotlight in the shape of a nose? Don’t fret, mon frier, I’ll be able to smell your fear and will find you. Just stay alive, you hear me? I will find you!

Yo, homes, smell ya later!

*******

P.S. Quiz: I have loose references to numerous TV shows and movies in this particular blog, including The A-Team, Bram Stoker’s Dracula and The Last of The Mohicans. Can you find them all?

P.P.S. I updated My Papa’s Poetry with a couple more poems he wrote about my Aunt Lucille.

2 Responses to “Super Smell”

  1. Carrie Howell Says:

    When I get pregnant, I hope my super ability is being able to talk to sea life. Like AquaGirl or something.

  2. JoyLuck Says:

    AcquGirl. You’re silly! tee hee

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